oatmeal sweet potato bread

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I read an article yesterday about two of my least favorite things in this world; fear and trust.  I personally have a difficult relationship with both of these concepts, mainly because I collect and store fears with more determination than I ever have any salt or vinegar, and I turn my back to trust just as persistently.

The article states that:

"The good news is that fear is merely an illusion. Fear is something we invent. The only thing that    gives it any power is when we listen to it.

So since we create fear, that means we can destroy it. Fear loses its power over us if we stop listening to it. 

When it creeps into our head, we can acknowledge its presence, look for what we can learn from the fear message, thank it for its concerns, and then refuse to listen. 

It’s a choice that we can make."

Isn't it ironic then that I suffer from anxiety and avoid setting goals for myself, too rattled with doubts to envision personal success.  Lately, though, I have been setting goals. Very specific ones related to my Health Coach training.  We're taught that the only way to be successful is to set goals and define the action steps toward reaching them.

Between bouts of negative self-talk, I manage to sneak in spurts of confidence where I'll act out the motions of a success-driven person and complete some tasks I've numbered in column three of my Google spreadsheet called Goals. 

Like, recently, in an act of daring, when I researched how to obtain a business license, filled out the forms online, typed in my credit card number and actually pressed the finished button.  Oh, I was feeling all proud that day... little ol' me officially starting a business.  

I've soo got this. 

Then a few days later an official looking letter arrived from the IRS stating something about taxes... quarterly... must file!... I had a mini melt-down by the third line.  "Merely an illusion", my ass.

OhmygodIcan'tdothis...whathaveidone...I'minsomuchtrouble...I'llnevermakeanymoneyanyway...  

And suddenly I was a heap of steaming negativity, blasted from my daydreams of success and meaning, left to wither in a puddle of despair.  And while I may not be the first person who's felt that way after hearing from the IRS, I was most certainly not just observing my fears and thanking them for their concerns.

The article also states:

"Instead of continuing down that self-destructive process of thought, I can stop myself right there, close my eyes, and start breathing.

As I slowly inhale, I breathe in trust, and slowly exhale fear. I breathe in trust, and bring it down into the bottom of my stomach and then alllllll the way down to my toes. As I exhale fear, I expel it from my lungs.

I continue to do this simple meditation exercise until I can feel the energy shift within and around me. I draw in light to myself as I focus on and renew my trust in my higher power."

OK, breathe in... TRUST

Breathe out... FEARS

This is doable.

In...TRUST...out...FEARS...In...TRUST...out...FEARS...In...TRUST...out...FEARS...In...TRUST...out...FEARS...

OK, I may be hyperventilating.  

So the point here is that I learned something from this article.  I, like many, manifest my fears from an invention of my mind into a reality of potential nervous breakdowns.  What if I manifested my goals in the same way?

What if... and just humor me, friends... I spent as much time thinking positively about what I want and what I can and will do in my life as I do about the need to file taxes for my new business months from now? 

Maybe I could try it out.  Take my trust in the Universe for a test-drive, so to speak.  Does this TRUST thing come with a free 30 day money back guarantee?  Try it out, see if it works for me, and if not, return it for a full refund and go back to a life of full-fledged FEAR with no risk or commitment?

Sounds like a plan.

Oh, and I baked you some delicious, hearty bread for the ride.

Oatmeal Sweet Potato Bread

adapted from this recipe

makes 1 loaf

gluten-free, vegan

1 C. GF oats

1 C. hot water

1/2 C. maple syrup

2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 C. roasted, pureed sweet potatoes

1 C. GF oat flour (made from processing 1 heaping C. GF oats in food processor)

1/4 tsp. baking soda

3 tsp. baking powder

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan and set aside.

• In a large mixing bowl, combine the oats and hot water.  Mix in the maple syrup and sweet potatoes.

• In a separate bowl, whisk together oat flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda and baking powder. 

• Add the dry ingredients to the wet, and stir until well combined.

• Pour batter into prepared loaf pan, and sprinkle top with 1-2 T. of GF oats.

• Let stand at room temperature for 20 minutes, then bake in preheated oven for 45 minutes.

• Remove from oven and allow to cool before removing from pan.

• Store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge for a few days.

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